Book Review: Tracey Cox’s Superdate
If you’ve ever wondered what a “seduction manual” written by a woman would look like, look no further; Tracey Cox’s Superdate
The back cover bills it as a “crash course in deliciously manipulative seduction strategies“:
The quintessential speed-dating handbook, superdate teaches you how to spot, size up, and seduce in a second!
Great advertising copy; but what does Ms. Cox actually deliver?
The prime purpose of superdate is to turn you into one. What you might find odd, given the title, is the lack of chapters on pick-up lines, what to wear, and where to go. The stuff you find in most dating books isn’t covered here because…the key to your attractiveness is the ability to send and receive clear signals.
In other words, it’s a body language book.
As far as pickup goes, body language is hugely important, given that it makes up an even larger portion of our total “communication channel” than the words we say, or the tonality we say them in. As Tracey quotes on the inside front cover: “People form 90% of their impression of you in the first 90 seconds.” While I would argue of the scientific quantifiability of this, it’s nonetheless true that first impressions make a lasting impact; so it makes sense to do the studying necessary to get your body language ‘dialed in’.
Who is Tracey Cox?
As far as I can tell, the author of superdate is a UK-based dating expert and author of a few other ’super’ books (supersex and superflirt), as well as a contributor to such illustrious publications as Glamour, Maxim, and the London Sunday Times and host of TLC’s Date Patrol.
I haven’t read any of Tracy’s other books, so I can’t comment on her credentials or chops as a relationship or sex expert in general, but I didn’t find anything to disagree with, content-wise, in this book. Early in the book, Tracey writes “It’s entirely possible to make someone fall in love with you”, a sentiment most male seduction experts would agree with. On the whole, the book is remarkably free of fluff and B.S. — though to be fair, Tracey does hail from the UK, where I find women generally have more realistic viewpoints on relationships than in the States.
And with a last name like Cox (assumed name though it may be) you know she’s got to know something good.
So what’s in the book?
Hold on there, cowboy. First let me tell you what the book is like.
I mentioned Glamour and Maxim, and the physical layout of the book meshes well with those publications. It’s a large, square book, with thick paperboard covers and a glossy, photo-based layout that alternates normal-sized text with multi-colored blown-up in-text quote boxes. This format may work great for women (or men) whose daily diet of reading consists of Glamour or Maxim, but for those of us not as trained in the art of magazine perusal, it can be a bit disorienting at times. The layout of each double-sized pages draws one’s eyes around in such a circuitous motion that it is often difficult to decide where to start reading next.
If you can get past the often visually chaotic layout, the information is golden. Tracey has taken info from solid researchers such as Desmond Morris (Peoplewatching review coming right up) and combined it with conventional wisdom to form a solid, thorough product on the subject of body language.
The book is laid out in logical stages, covering five main “chapters”, each of which deals with body language in a different context. Each chapter roughly correspond with a well-known stage of seduction, which I would describe as follows:
1. The Signals (pre-approach screening)
2. The Meeting (approaching and opening)
3. The Ice-Breaker (attraction and rapport)
4. The Date (closing)
5. The Couple (relationship maintenance)
Tracey stays on topic throughout. There is some slight deviation into other bits of relationship science — including the highly salient tidbit that the lustful “popcorn” happy-joy feelings of a new relationship will die out at or before 18 months — as well as typical girl stuff about “how to tell if he’s lying” (which is actually solid information, validated in such titles as David Lieberman’s Never Be Lied To Again) — but for the most part, this book is geared towards body language in all stages of relationships.
The solid information is illustrated at every step of the way with professional photographs of models exhibiting various body language poses. This is extremely helpful, since body language is something that should be taught visually. In fact, my only real complaint with this book is simply a factor of the medium; that it can’t teach body language as well as an in-person coach could.
As for the info it presents, this book is spot on. More or less everything I covered in my own post on body language is validated in this book, and expanded on. So if you liked my post and want more information (as well as pretty pictures to show you exactly how to do and read these poses), you should pick up this book.
Some of the key highlights include information on:
- How to show dominance without coming across as overbearing
- How to signal authority and knowledge
- How to spot telegraphed sexual interest from across the room
- How to spot those famed Approach Invitations from women (this info alone was gold to me when I first read it, as it has helped me personally increase my likelihood of “opening” a woman successfully, because I was able to selectively approach women who wanted me to approach)
- How to telegraph sexual interest in a subtle way that will get women aroused
…And the proverbial more. For a seduction guide aimed at women, this book is a totally worthwhile addition to any seducer’s bookshelf; especially as a primer, for those who’ve never read any serious book on body language before (or only read my blog post on the topic).
As a bonus, there is at least one page in this book that features full-frontal nudity; though sadly, no accompanying description of what frontal nudity communications in body language terms.
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December 20th, 2007 at 12:33 am
This book looks pretty cool. Thanks.
December 22nd, 2007 at 3:23 am
Cox is actually Australian. But she appears on British TV a lot and may be based here.