Comments on: The Key to a Succesful First Date

By: Joe

Joe — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 15:04:59 +0000

My rule for dating, is it have to be fun, unique and almost at no expense. It is expensive to take out for dinner and movie which is boring and so interview-like. Be different and she will remember you for ever.

For example, the Whole Food store, is where I take her. We have fun talking about food, organic, and health stuff. It is a screening tool for me. Then at the end of shopping, I can decide if it is worth to pursue with the food I bought that is going to be cook for dinner or maybe a drink.

What about instant date? Have you done that before, thirtyplus?

By: So Denim

So Denim — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 19:31:29 +0000

Finally, something to disagree with! (I agree with almost everything you write, including here, but . . . )

On flaking: for me, repeatedly calling seems needy, and, mature and unneedy as I usually am and always want to be, flaking really pisses me off on both an emotional and intellectual level, and persisting much after that is going to feel needy, and come across that way. (Yes, I know that there are people who can persist without seeming persistently needy.)

So, for me, leaving a short voicemail is the ideal way to handle it, ideally from one of my usual hangouts (after I’ve had a chance to calm down and am doing something else fun), with noise and fun going on in the background, and a quick false time constraint: “Missed you at the Mall yesterday; had a fun time finding a — hang on for a sec. Sorry; I gotta go. You can call me.” Then drop the phone down to the end of my arm and leave it on for a few seconds before shutting it off.

The time that worked best I had been flirting with the remarkably hot lesbian barista at my then-favorite coffee shop to improve my horrible mood before calling (as I said, being flaked on brings out the darkness in even my denim soul) and just as I had put the phone down and was getting ready to snap it shut, she came over with a refill on my latte and something on a plate and said, “You’re going to love my muffin today,” and started giggling.

The flake called back (I had originally met her at the same coffee shop and the barista had been a sort of pivot), she was very apologetic, and I let her make me dinner.

Uninvited Friend Syndrome: that was happening to me too often for awhile, until I started keying in on connecting/vibing with (and ideally #-closing) the friend. I take the attitude of (and once actually said, although it blew up spectacularly) “Nice! You brought me a treat!”

The friend will always be significantly less hot, of course. So what?

By: Miss idongesit Udofia

Miss idongesit Udofia — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 16:52:05 +0000

nice words.

By: The Key to a Succesful First Date : Seduction, Pickup @ Grow Your Game

The Key to a Succesful First Date : Seduction, Pickup @ Grow Your Game — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 00:43:57 +0000

[…] The Key to a Succesful First Date Submitted by sheriff, 4 seconds ago (realitymethod.wordpress.com) […]

By: thirtyplus

thirtyplus — Wed, 02 May 2007 01:00:02 +0000

After a week and a half and just one contact, I would say it’s really to early to tell. Call her back. If she doesn’t pick up, DON’T leave a message, just keep calling back (at random times, not always on the same day or same interval). Odds are you’ll catch her eventually.

Meanwhile, work on your phone game with other women. A really solid phone game will make converting 100x easier

One of my longest relationships I got off a number that the girl didn’t want to give out, and I called her incessantly for weeks before she picked up. She told me later that she made conscious decisions not to pick up. But finally did, just because she was curious.

Like it says above: “Persist…gently.” Don’t get all psycho and don’t stalk. But persist.

And don’t leave voice mails…I think they’re too needy.

By: milehighty

milehighty — Tue, 01 May 2007 23:06:53 +0000

Not to be too kiss ass but I love your articles, now that we have that brown nosing out of the way I have a question? I am 22 and have attracted a very sexy 30 year old. For about 3 weeks I had seen her in the bar and finally we ended up getting some what intament. After that she seemed really into me, and I told her that I would call her in a few days so her and I could go out for a bite. Well when I called her I got the voice message, and now a week and a half later still nothing. I havn’t called her or texted her since, but I did get the sense that she was into me, and the way she responded toward me backed that up. Is there something that I may have missed?

By: thirtyplus

thirtyplus — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 18:29:08 +0000

BZ:
It really depends on the girl for some. Some girls I can’t be arsed — they’re not just attractive enough for me to persist constantly as I describe in the article here.

Other girls have such high value that I have persisted over long time frames, so that it literally becomes SLOW seduction….but the end result turns out good, so why should I complain? I’ve learned some great lessons of patience in life.

Also I think our environments are probably different. Where I am, hot chicks really *are* prizes….they are in very short supply. If I went down to L.A., though I’d adjust my game accordingly, since L.A. is swimming in hot chicks.

Captain Morgan:
That’s pretty much the basics — that and what’s in the linked article on body language (http://realitymethod.wordpress.com/2007/01/21/subcommunication-ii-body-language/)

Bottom line is, TOUCH her….even if you’re not quite sure how the first few times. You’ll figure it out. You’ll make mistakes, expect that, but you WILL figure it out if you persist. What it all comes down to is more about being comfortable with yourself than being comfortable with her.