First, watch this video. As you watch it, pay attention to your reaction.
Prank War Continued: Streeter Bombs on Vimeo
Your Reaction
What were you thinking? What kind of reaction did you have — mentally, emotionally? Did you feel sorry for the guy? Did you find it funny?
Others’ Reactions
I ran across this prank video on Digg and, although it was pretty unremarkable to me, what was remarkable were the reactions of other viewers across the net, both on Vimeo and in the comments over at Digg: in both cases, people reported feeling physically ill and / or embarrassed while watching the clip.
Some people even said they had to stop the video halfway through and then start it again later, so powerful was their reaction.
There is a lesson in this, I think, and that’s why I present the footage here.
A lot of people find this video hard to watch, I think, because of social pressure.
I’ve written about social pressure before: it’s a force that causes people to conform in social situations, and a force that can be harnessed by a skilled seducer to dramatically improve his results.
Think of the idea of a stand-up act. The audience is sitting down, relaxed, having had some wine or drinks and food (in many cases), and is in any case getting ready to laugh. They are primed to laugh. The expect to laugh. Maybe, just because they are at a comedy club, they laugh at some jokes that they wouldn’t find funny at all if a friend said it to them in broad daylight on the street when they were anxious or distracted.
So that’s part of the deal: stand-up comedy is sort of a contract: you, as an audience member, agree to let your laughter flow more freely. The comedian, on the other hand, agrees to say some relatively quirky things, and once in a while something that’s really funny.
Those are the social expectations, and when they are followed, everything goes fine, and everyone leaves feeling good.
But when one party deliberately breaks the social contract (the crowd, in this case, agreeing not to laugh), social pressure is brought to bear.
Logically, the social pressure ought to be focused on the audience — the comedian is saying funny things (the drug ad bit was funny), but they’re not laughing.
Obviously what’s happening is the comedian is taking the audience’s reaction personally and getting emotionally reactive. He’s not thinking, “Damn, I’m being funny, but these people aren’t laughing? WTF”
Instead, he’s thinking, “OH shit, my material is bombing….I’m not funny….they hate me”
The desire for social acceptance is extremely strong, and the accompanying fear of social exclusion can easily warp our perceptions of what’s actually happening. Most people are quick to assume that they are at fault, and have made a social violation — and in this case, that’s the simpler assumption to make, given that the alternative (a conspiracy in the audience to not clap at your funny jokes) is a bit complex and paranoid….but as the video shows, “complex” and “paranoid” does not stop it from being true.
Empathy is wonderful, but in this case, we can see how easily it backfires….some people in the comments are actually feeling nauseous while watching this video…because they are imagining themselves in the same scenario.
Social pressure is a powerful, powerful tool, and this video is all anyone should need to be convinced of that.
My Reaction
I have to admit, I went through critiquing his frame and reaction time, how he handled the crowd….and thinking up comebacks and rejoinders for the hecklers in the audience. It never occurred to me to be embarrassed on his behalf….only sad to see his lack of frame control and his reactivity to the audience.
Of course, I was prepared for the footage by knowing the set up going in…and I doubt any comedian goes on stage fully expecting the audience not to surrender a single laugh.
But what if they did?
If I were a comedian, I’d hold that expectation — of the worst possible case, boos and tomatoes thrown at me — so that I was literally “ready for anything”, and therefore would not be rattled if it actually happened.
But that’s easy for me to say from my armchair…and, given that I’ll probably never actually BECOME a comedian, it’s a moot point.
Let me also say (as one reader astutely pointed out) that the only *surefire* to really increase your chances of a well-received performance are to practice, practice, practice — and give more performances. I think this is a good lesson, because it has a direct analogue in pickup (MY expertise); approach, approach, approach.