The Reality Method 2.0

Attaining The Elusive Threesome

A straw poll of Average Guys(TM) would probably find that, when asked about their sexual goals, a majority would include “a threesome”.

Such a common sexual goal is just begging to be written about. How does one go about getting involved in a threesome? When is it appropriate, when is it destructive? What are the easiest ways to get into it? This post will attempt to answer all these questions and more, in as concise a manner as possible.

The Power of Three
There are three main ways to get involved in a Threesome:

1. Bring a third person into an existing relationship
2. Get sucked in between some random strangers
3. Be a third wheel in someone else’s relationship

Before we get into them, let me try to explode some myths about Threesomes — commonly held perceptions or beliefs that many guys who haven’t been in a threesome may have.

The Threesome Myths
Of these, the worst is

Threesomes in real life happen just like in porn.

In other words, there’s a guy, two hot chicks, and he gets to fuck both of them relentlessly for hours until he finally busts a nut on both their happy faces at once.

This is simply not how 90% of threesomes go.

Like everything in porn, the portrayal of threesomes is highly idealized. Now, don’t get me wrong: I enjoy porn as much as the next guy, but it’s important to realize that every time you are seeing porn, you are seeing “reality” with a thick layer of ca$hmon$y between you and the action.

In real threesomes, the other members of the threesome will NOT simply be pandering to your every desire (unless you paid them $1,000 each beforehand, of course). Everyone in sex has their own set of desires, motivations, likes, dislikes, arousal schema, timing peculiarities, insecurities, jealousies, and techniques — and this is true no matter how many people are in bed at one time.

The easiest way to a threesome is to ask your girlfriend to let you bring another girl into bed.

This is indeed a path to a threesome, as mentioned above — but it is FAR FROM the easiest way — in fact, in many cases it is the absolute LAST way I would recommend a guy go about getting into a threesome.

I have to be a sexual God to survive a threesome.

Again, not true. Actually, being in bed with 2 other people usually tends to reduce the pressure to perform just as a function of reducing the overall attention being given to any one person (the pressure to perform is now split 3 ways, instead of 2).

If I have a threesome with another guy involved it means I’m gay or bi.

If you are in a MMF threesome and you kiss, make-out with, orally pleasure or have intercourse with a guy, yes, that probably means you have homosexual or strongly bisexual tendencies. But a MMF does not presuppose intimate contact between the two men. This is one place porn gets it right; look at all the movies of two guys double-teaming a single girl, even going so far as to stick both their things in her hoohah so they’re literally rubbing against each other (ew!)

A threesome, as I see it, ought to be loosely defined; two guys both sexing the same girl can be considered just as much a threesome as three guys or three girls sexing each other. Just as long as there are three people involved and the major activity is sex (including some intercourse somewhere along the way), it’s a threesome. I’m not a huge fan of semantical pedantry.

Being in a threesome means I am the ultimate pimp; it is the ultimate sexual escapade and will bring me more pleasure than anything I’ve ever done before.

Don’t get me wrong; threesomes can be great fun, quite pleasurable, empowering and powerful. On the other hand, they can just as easily be tiring, laborious, stressful, chaotic, or dramatic affairs.

Like most things — it really depends.

Those are the myths (at least, the most common ones I hear). Having dispatched those, let’s get to the good stuff: How Threesomes Happen.

Two Plus One Equals Three
This is the most common method of initiating a threesome by most people who are actively trying to get into it. These are the guys you hear calling the Howard Stern show or Love Line and asking or talking about Threesomes. “I got my girlfriend to do it.”

There is a good reason for this. The fundamental principle of the threesome is this: a tripod is inherently unstable. A threesome is just a tripod of people — in the vast majority of cases, two sides are stronger than the third.

The corollary principle is that it is MUCH easier to build a tripod when you already have two sides.

So this is where you get all the relationship threesomes. Guys will do almost anything to get this to happen; they beg their girlfriends, they use any and all excuses and lines they can get.

They figure that, if their girlfriend really loves them, she will agree to a threesome, and they will be happy — not only will they get to fuck their girlfriend and see her happily make out and make love to another beautiful woman, they will also get to fuck another beautiful woman while their girlfriend looks on approvingly (at least) or (at best) gives them a hand fucking her.

Here’s the reality of the situation: for a monogamous, committed relationship, threesomes are inherently destructive.

That’s right. For most guys, bringing another person into the bedroom with a girl that wants to be monogamous with you is a VERY clear subcommunication to her that 1) not only do you not want to be monogamous, but also that 2) you don’t care how she feels. It is an act of war against a “typical” relationship.

Which is why I advise guys to be so careful about trying to suggest a threesome to their girlfriend. When you say,

“Hey honey, for my birthday why don’t you give me a threesome?”

What she hears you say is,

“Hey honey, I’m really not that attached to you, and additionally I find you really unattractive and boring sexually, so I want to fuck other women while you watch, and additionally use you to fulfill my sexual dream of being a porn star.”

There are two scenarios in which a threesome with you girlfriend can work.

1. If you are bored with the girl, and planning to dump her, but she is still attached to you
2. If your girlfriend is strongly bisexual (perhaps by a bisexual exploration thread YOU started), desires women strongly, and is high-sex-drive and high-self-esteem

Of those two, I only really want to talk about #2; #1 is pretty sick and manipulative. You’re essentially dumping the girl through a threesome, only she’s going to be even MORE confused in some cases, because she’ll think “Wow, that threesome was a horribly demeaning experience (or maybe it was kinda fun) but now he’s GOT to love me for always and ever because I went through it for him, therefore basically giving him every guy’s DREAM!”

For #2, I will refer you to another article How to Have Threesomes With Your Bisexual Girlfriend. The short version is, you and your girlfriend can work together to select beautiful young women (or men, if that’s your thing) and lure them back to bed much more easily than you can do it alone and it can be quite a powerful bonding experience - or, in some cases, a major relationship threat.

The reason that high sex drive and high self-esteem are prerequisites for any girlfriend threesome action should be self explanatory. Only a high-self esteem girl will be able to handle the sight of you fucking another woman and come away with it still convinced she’s #1; and only a very high sex-drive girl will have the stamina to sex you and another woman (or man).

Even in this scenario, though, when you and your honey have selected a girl (or guy) to bring home, you STILL must be careful, observer ground rules, and take steps to defend against irrational jealousy spilling over and ruining the whole thing. Remember, with a girlfriend, threesomes are always a gamble, no matter how enthusiastic she is about it, and will likely require more self-control and skillful dominance and control in the situation than you have ever before exerted.

One Plus One Plus One Equals Three
The chances of three random strangers coming together at one time and all getting it on at the same time and place are pretty slim; but it does happen.

There are some common varieties:

• Bisexual club chicks
  
  These are typically a set of 2 girls who are friends or “club friends” (girls that befriend each other dancing and grinding in a club, united by their desire to tool guys) and may have fooled around themselves once or twice before, but have no set plan or intent to get involved in a threesome. If you play your cards right, however, and attract them both by setting up a strong dominant playful frame, as well as control the logistics properly, they will both sex you (and each other) without hesitation, and without remorse the next morning. Typically these are not lesbians in a relationship (true lesbians wouldn’t want a guy) but merely high-sex drive chicks with strong bi-sexual tendencies, a strong “party-girl” mode, and lots of comfort with each other. If club friends, some E may have to be involved, as at a rave.Note: the “bisexual chick” vibe is HUGE in the Western world right now, as I will further detail in a few other articles down the road.
• Drunk chicks at parties
  
  This is a predator-prey situation, and a common scenario: one particularly hot (or horny) girl gets a liiiitle too drunk, and invites a guy upstairs to have sex. Another guy happens to barge in, because the girl didn’t choose a guy who cared very much about privacy (for whatever reason), this second guy is allowed in on the fun too. Suddenly we’re straddling the line between consensual sex and rape; the difference being whether or not the girl is actively enjoying having sex with both guys or not.Sometimes, it’s a girl that barges in, and she joins in too. It doesn’t really matter; the point is that a beautiful threesome situation can develop at an otherwise-boring house party just as easily as a snowflake coalesces around tiny particles of insignificant dirt.
• Three acquaintances, some sexual tension, and isolation
  
  This case is essentially what happens when you throw a love triangle and a little bit of ambiguity together.Maybe you’re forced to travel for work and share a hotel room; maybe it’s a hotel party, or a casual hang-out in someone’s basement. Maybe it’s an ice cream social or a garden party. Doesn’t matter; the only criterion is three people that only sort of slightly know each, to different degrees, and some sexual tension between all three (or two of the three, and strong attraction on the third person’s part), and they are all together, alone, in the same place.Alcohol helps, but the typical pattern that sets it off is: two people start making out, the third person watches, aroused, gradually gets more aroused, and is inexorably drawn in. Just think of Jack Sparrow, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan from Pirates of the Caribbean locked in a room together with a kiddie pool full of Jel-O and a plenty of condoms.

  Of all threesome possibilities, this is the most fragile; vague acquaintances, crushes and sexual tension are not the most solid bedrock upon which to rest a sexual adventure.

  But with some luck and alcohol, it can happen.

Onwards. There is one more threesome-condition yet to explore.

One plus Two Equals Three
Notice the difference from 2 + 1 = 3, above. In this scenario, YOU are the third wheel, joining an existing couple for some rowdy rumpus.

The existing couple could be two women (rare), or a man and a woman (most likely). Be careful; this is not like you and your sweetie double-teaming some hot young thing. This is you, as a lone wolf, watching out for yourself as another couple uses you. In this equation you are essentially the sex toy.

If you get approached by a couple directly, or this scenario seems to be developing (as it did me during one of my trips to Europe; I was hitchhiking at the time), you’d better have a pretty good idea of what you’re getting yourself into. Typically, couples do not have bad intentions when they search for another “Young stud” to bring into the bedroom; but you have to realize that the male in the relationship very well may be bi and make sexual advances towards you. On the other hand, the couple may have their own shit together, but instead by playing a twisted version of “let’s destroy the relationship” and use you as one of the weapons. Also be aware that they may have never done this before, and the guy might realize halfway through that he’s not so happy with the idea of another guy’s cock in his wife, and decide to handle his emotions poorly.

Look, none of this is designed to fill you with fear or doubt. Just have enough common sense to be clear headed and realize what you’re getting into - even if it’s with two women. As a third wheel, remember that you will always be less important than the existing part of the tripod (to mix metaphors almost beyond hope of separation).

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And that’s it for the Elusive Threesome and the Ways to Achieve it. Be sure to check out The Bisexual Girlfriend and Tandem Hunting, which provides a more in-depth, procedural look at how to pull off threesomes with the help of your girlfriend, including sexual techniques, boundaries and ground rules for staying safe, and more.

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