Comments on: How to Talk to Complete Strangers Without Anxiety http://realitymethod.com/2007/01/how-to-talk-to-complete-strangers-without-anxiety/ How to succeed with women, actually, for real...and for free. Fri, 21 Nov 2008 11:12:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: $@kura http://realitymethod.com/2007/01/how-to-talk-to-complete-strangers-without-anxiety/#comment-190 $@kura Thu, 08 Nov 2007 21:49:49 +0000 http://realitymethod.com/?p=74#comment-190 obviously you've never played tennis... there's a helluva lotta self-talk in that game between every serve... if the self talk is not good the return of serve will suck... i think you mean good, but you really haven't offered any tangible advice... "be open" is awesome, but leaves one wondering "how?"... perhaps we can use the tennis analogy to derive something tangible.... how do you prepare for a tennis match? you return many, many serves as a means of practice/simulation. after a while the parctice starts to make you perhaps 'think' less and be more apt to get into your 'zone' where things just flow. women really don't care (i.e. their limbic systems don't care) if you're open with a homeless man. they are only sizing you up in a nanosecond as for how open you are (or are liely to be) with them. if she cannot make some sort of emotional connection with you then obviously you are not going to be hooking up with her. this is not rocket science. it is simply a matter of can you connect to this women or can't you? she doesn't care if you've just spent your life in solitary confinement, it's only about you and her. can you connect? this is why so much pua stuff talks about acting like you've just seen an old friend when you see a woman you'd like to talk to. when you act like this the ability to connect is implied. because you're acting like the connection already exists. when a stranger walks up to you, much of your response is 'unconscious'. you make decisions in milliseconds. not all iof that is coming from your frontal lobe. there's a reason why women require an emotional connection... which you touched on in one of your other articles obviously you’ve never played tennis… there’s a helluva lotta self-talk in that game between every serve… if the self talk is not good the return of serve will suck…
i think you mean good, but you really haven’t offered any tangible advice… “be open” is awesome, but leaves one wondering “how?”…

perhaps we can use the tennis analogy to derive something tangible…. how do you prepare for a tennis match? you return many, many serves as a means of practice/simulation. after a while the parctice starts to make you perhaps ‘think’ less and be more apt to get into your ‘zone’ where things just flow.

women really don’t care (i.e. their limbic systems don’t care) if you’re open with a homeless man. they are only sizing you up in a nanosecond as for how open you are (or are liely to be) with them. if she cannot make some sort of emotional connection with you then obviously you are not going to be hooking up with her. this is not rocket science. it is simply a matter of can you connect to this women or can’t you? she doesn’t care if you’ve just spent your life in solitary confinement, it’s only about you and her. can you connect?

this is why so much pua stuff talks about acting like you’ve just seen an old friend when you see a woman you’d like to talk to. when you act like this the ability to connect is implied. because you’re acting like the connection already exists.

when a stranger walks up to you, much of your response is ‘unconscious’. you make decisions in milliseconds. not all iof that is coming from your frontal lobe.

there’s a reason why women require an emotional connection… which you touched on in one of your other articles

]]> By: So Denim http://realitymethod.com/2007/01/how-to-talk-to-complete-strangers-without-anxiety/#comment-188 So Denim Wed, 31 Oct 2007 15:54:11 +0000 http://realitymethod.com/?p=74#comment-188 Billy, next time try, "I dunno for sure, but you might try [name of book]. It's pretty good." And then move three to six feet away. Extra points if you know the author of the book; deduct points if you are the author of the book. Deduct multiple points if you can't handle a smile and "Why?" Billy, next time try, “I dunno for sure, but you might try [name of book]. It’s pretty good.” And then move three to six feet away. Extra points if you know the author of the book; deduct points if you are the author of the book. Deduct multiple points if you can’t handle a smile and “Why?”

]]> By: Billy http://realitymethod.com/2007/01/how-to-talk-to-complete-strangers-without-anxiety/#comment-189 Billy Sun, 28 Oct 2007 20:19:45 +0000 http://realitymethod.com/?p=74#comment-189 I'm going to try this out. I definitely have a loquacious bugger in my head, and hopefully this manual overdrive will make it shut up. Another ideathat I thought may help getting guys used to talking to women, especially the hot ones is to take advantage of situations where they have to be friendly to you and are already open. This could be the girl selling perfume at the mall, free back messages at your school, teller at a store, etc. Use those situations to build comfort. Another thing that often happens is your mind draws a blank about what to say once in a situation. If you have something planned in advance you can preempt that annoying voice that makes you stop. Going to the mall? Rather than getting there and seeing a girl and then going, "Oh shit what do I say?" Think ahead and come up with some questions. "How does this color look on me?" "Where is such and such store." etc I was at this used book stand waiting for a friend and couldn't think of what to say to this girl next to me as she was reading. As soon as I moved away from her I though, "Hey what are you looking at?" DUH! Good post I’m going to try this out. I definitely have a loquacious bugger in my head, and hopefully this manual overdrive will make it shut up. Another ideathat I thought may help getting guys used to talking to women, especially the hot ones is to take advantage of situations where they have to be friendly to you and are already open. This could be the girl selling perfume at the mall, free back messages at your school, teller at a store, etc. Use those situations to build comfort.

Another thing that often happens is your mind draws a blank about what to say once in a situation. If you have something planned in advance you can preempt that annoying voice that makes you stop. Going to the mall? Rather than getting there and seeing a girl and then going, “Oh shit what do I say?” Think ahead and come up with some questions. “How does this color look on me?” “Where is such and such store.” etc

I was at this used book stand waiting for a friend and couldn’t think of what to say to this girl next to me as she was reading. As soon as I moved away from her I though, “Hey what are you looking at?” DUH!

Good post

]]> By: Borgia http://realitymethod.com/2007/01/how-to-talk-to-complete-strangers-without-anxiety/#comment-185 Borgia Tue, 18 Sep 2007 10:53:59 +0000 http://realitymethod.com/?p=74#comment-185 top-shelf post my man. alot of PUA posting is thinly-veiled ego stroking with alot of sound and fury but little content. props for resisting the urge and keeping your posts content-driven. pre-approach internal dialogue is public enemy #1 for the would-be PUA. It just gives your brain time to remind you of all the potential obstacles that lie between your desire and its satisfaction. and all the negative, ego-shattering repercussions of the old crash and burn. Involuntary isn't optimal since it requires ALOT of post-approach thinking on one's feet but a clunky, um-ridden real approach is ALWAYS better than a better than the brilliant, perfectly-worded fantasy approach you construct in your mind after the fact. top-shelf post my man. alot of PUA posting is thinly-veiled ego stroking with alot of sound and fury but little content. props for resisting the urge and keeping your posts content-driven.

pre-approach internal dialogue is public enemy #1 for the would-be PUA. It just gives your brain time to remind you of all the potential obstacles that lie between your desire and its satisfaction. and all the negative, ego-shattering repercussions of the old crash and burn. Involuntary isn’t optimal since it requires ALOT of post-approach thinking on one’s feet but a clunky, um-ridden real approach is ALWAYS better than a better than the brilliant, perfectly-worded fantasy approach you construct in your mind after the fact.

]]> By: thirtyplus http://realitymethod.com/2007/01/how-to-talk-to-complete-strangers-without-anxiety/#comment-187 thirtyplus Tue, 06 Feb 2007 09:51:08 +0000 http://realitymethod.com/?p=74#comment-187 Ask them: "Do you think I should dye my hair blond or black?" If you have sort of a metro look.... Or say, "You have a bad look on your face....what evil thoughts are you thinking?" If you have a playful / funny / sly personality.... Or if you are a really earnest, honest down to earth guy, try a more direct approach: "I couldn't help notice you sitting all alone over here, I was over there, and I thought I'd come meet you," Most girls will appreciate this direct approach and NOT be rude..... ultimately the "line" that comes from your own personality is the BEST line, it will trump made-up lines from the internet 100% of the time. You are a musician play to that strength "You look like the type of girl a guy could write a song about...." Then calibrate based on how she responds. If she is bitchy or ungrateful say it is a parody song about bitchy girls, if sentimental a love song about how she broke some poor bloke's heart... You personality is your greatest asset my friend, use it..... Ask them: “Do you think I should dye my hair blond or black?” If you have sort of a metro look….

Or say, “You have a bad look on your face….what evil thoughts are you thinking?” If you have a playful / funny / sly personality….

Or if you are a really earnest, honest down to earth guy, try a more direct approach: “I couldn’t help notice you sitting all alone over here, I was over there, and I thought I’d come meet you,” Most girls will appreciate this direct approach and NOT be rude…..

ultimately the “line” that comes from your own personality is the BEST line, it will trump made-up lines from the internet 100% of the time. You are a musician play to that strength “You look like the type of girl a guy could write a song about….” Then calibrate based on how she responds. If she is bitchy or ungrateful say it is a parody song about bitchy girls, if sentimental a love song about how she broke some poor bloke’s heart…

You personality is your greatest asset my friend, use it…..

]]> By: ru http://realitymethod.com/2007/01/how-to-talk-to-complete-strangers-without-anxiety/#comment-186 ru Mon, 05 Feb 2007 23:44:12 +0000 http://realitymethod.com/?p=74#comment-186 i liked that rant. was rather profound. i'd like to see your girlfriend she must be rather fit! but you know one thing i try all that and being open is the best way. but at the same time being cool and slightly cocky is also very good. it's one thing summoning the courage to talk to that dream girl (why are they always with some ugly gorilla guy-maybe cause he's wearing a rolex) how does that happen? anyway once your over there chatting to a fitty actually it matters a lot what comes out your mouth and getting that balance of interested and interesting and open but not all out tripping out open minded, meaning of life... jokes work great especially if you're kinds dissing something or just random thoughts but then you can just be funny and thats a bit tiring after a while. i dont know. im waiting for my dream girl, but its been so long. why am i writing this crap? im a good looking creative, tall cool guy (not usually so arrogant either) and love to joke around, make music a lot, just came bakc from a gig. but where where the women? i can have a one night stand when i want, but i want something meaningful and lasting. im so tired of this bullshite sorry. ru... what you think:? give me a chatup line i can use.. i liked that rant. was rather profound. i’d like to see your girlfriend she must be rather fit! but you know one thing i try all that and being open is the best way. but at the same time being cool and slightly cocky is also very good. it’s one thing summoning the courage to talk to that dream girl (why are they always with some ugly gorilla guy-maybe cause he’s wearing a rolex) how does that happen? anyway once your over there chatting to a fitty actually it matters a lot what comes out your mouth and getting that balance of interested and interesting and open but not all out tripping out open minded, meaning of life… jokes work great especially if you’re kinds dissing something or just random thoughts but then you can just be funny and thats a bit tiring after a while. i dont know. im waiting for my dream girl, but its been so long. why am i writing this crap? im a good looking creative, tall cool guy (not usually so arrogant either) and love to joke around, make music a lot, just came bakc from a gig. but where where the women? i can have a one night stand when i want, but i want something meaningful and lasting. im so tired of this bullshite sorry. ru… what you think:? give me a chatup line i can use..

]]> By: Bev http://realitymethod.com/2007/01/how-to-talk-to-complete-strangers-without-anxiety/#comment-184 Bev Fri, 02 Feb 2007 17:30:00 +0000 http://realitymethod.com/?p=74#comment-184 Actually, if you make a smooth open, a girl will generally at least respond nicely and humor you...even if she isn't interested. But it all comes from confidence...and confidence comes from adequacy. When you are adequate as a person and in life, you will naturally be confident. Work on your adequacy and the rest will follow... Actually, if you make a smooth open, a girl will generally at least respond nicely and humor you…even if she isn’t interested.

But it all comes from confidence…and confidence comes from adequacy. When you are adequate as a person and in life, you will naturally be confident. Work on your adequacy and the rest will follow…

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